A pregnant man has welcomed a baby girl after falling pregnant while transitioning, and says carrying the child helped him through the pandemic while the initial shock has given way to an immense love.
A man who fell pregnant from a one night Grindr hook-up is adjusting to life as a “seahorse parent” after welcoming a baby girl. Ash Patrick Schade, 28, had spent two years transitioning before finding out he was pregnant in February 2020.
He been taking testosterone and oestrogen blockers, and thought that would prevent a pregnancy. But after finding out the happy news he immediately paused treatments to carry and birth to his daughter, Ronan Shiva, now one. The dad-of-one had struggled with his gender identity for as long as he could remember but was excited to start a family of his own as a seahorse parent, claiming that his pregnancy aided him through the pandemic.
A seahorse parent is a term used to describe a gestational parent who is transgender or non-binary. The term comes from seahorses, of which the male carry and birth their young. The mental health worker and PHD student from Huntington, West Virginia, USA, now co-parents Ronan with his husband Jordan, 28 who is a full time stay-at-home step-dad.
Ash said: “At the time I got pregnant, I was on testosterone gel and oestrogen blockers, and it had never occurred to me that I could get pregnant whilst on them, as it’s such a rare occurrence. “I was going through a rough time from 2019 and 2020 and struggled with my mental health due to going through a divorce. “I ended up going on Grindr hook-ups and accidentally fell pregnant.
“It was a huge shock, but I fell in love with my bump and pushed through the pregnancy, despite struggling with the dysphoria and medical risks. “Ronan is my everything, I love her more than myself.”
Ash found the pregnancy difficult, often finding a lack of knowledgeable medical staff that understood his situation. He said: “Nobody wanted to take my case when I first found out I was pregnant.
“I was such a high-risk case, with a lot of potential for the pregnancy to go awry. “I struggled with the pregnancy, especially with the pandemic. “But once I was assigned a doctor, he worked with me to understand how I was feeling and what I was going through.
“When I went into labour, the team of medical staff had already been briefed on my situation and were amazing, until they were swapped out with different staff members later on. “Seeing my hairy legs in the stirrups must have caught one of them off guard, as they said to me ‘maybe you should re-think your gender identity’.
“It may sound counter-intuitive, but giving birth felt like one of the most masculine things I have done.
“To me, growing up and looking at male role models, being a man was never about having the biggest penis – it was about what you did to help others, what you could accomplish and achieve.
“Bringing life into the world as a seahorse parent was incredible.”
Despite the medical struggles of his pregnancy, Ash found solace in the support of his husband, the online LBGTQI+ community. He said: “I felt like I was in the wrong body for as long as I could remember.
“My parents didn’t know any better, and thought that conversion therapy would fix me, that I was sick. “I hid my boobs and identified as a boy at school and went by Ash, and wore gothic dark clothes as a way to hide how I looked. “Until one day, my mum, who does not wish to be named, sent me to school in a pink two piece for picture day and my teacher loudly declared that I was actually a girl called Ashley.
“I went from popular to a nobody overnight, with my then girlfriend’s mum calling my mum to ‘keep that gay slur of a child away from my daughter’. “I had a really horrible childhood and am a suicide attempt survivor from the gender dysphoria and trauma I went through.”
Ash feared his mental health may take a turn for the worse when he discovered the pregnancy. He added:“I was worried about how good of a parent I would be, and how others would view me. “But throughout the whole thing I had the love of my husband Jordan supporting me throughout, he even cut Ronan’s cord, he’s been there every step of the way. “I had all of my friends following my journey and checking in, as well as the support of the online gay and trans community and even the Satanic Temple of which I’m a member.”
Ash is looking forward to telling Ronan how she was born as she grows up. He also enjoys educating members of the public when they approach him to ask if Ronan’s mother is in the picture. He said: “I want to be honest and open with Ronan the whole way, and explain to her that sometimes trans men can have babies.
“I can explain to her how I am both her mum and her dad. “A lot of the time people will stop us whilst we are out and say that her mother must look beautiful, or if I’m out with Jordan they’ll ask where we adopted her. “So it’s usually quite an interesting conversation to begin when I explain it all to them.
Source: mirror.co.uk
